When people are swiping on dating apps, they’re making decisions quickly. Your profile needs to catch their eye within a few seconds, or it’ll blend in with the hundred other profiles they’ve seen that day.
As a sex and love coach, I’ve helped many people make their profiles stand out from the crowd. Here are a few easy ways to improve your dating profile that, in my experience, get people more matches.
Include photos of yourself being active.
Selfies are good for giving people an idea of what you look like, as long as they’re not super edited or staged. But you don’t need more than two or three photos of just your face. There are lots of pretty faces on dating apps; what will really distinguish you is your personality. Include photos that demonstrate your hobbies, interests, and career. These can become conversation starters and paint you as a person of substance.
Write what you’re looking for.
One huge advantage to dating using apps is that they can prevent you from going on a date with someone whose desires are incompatible with yours. If you’re looking for a life partner, say so. If you want kids, say so. If you’re just looking for something casual, be honest. It’s much better to learn this right away than to get attached to someone only to find out your goals are incompatible.
Stay positive.
While it’s great to write what you’re looking for, avoid listing things you’re not looking for. Avoid phrases like “no fuckboys,” “please be on time,” and “I don’t need friends; I have enough friends,” as they can make you sound like an angry or negative person.
Describe your life with specificity.
When describing your interests, make sure to focus on the things that make you unique. Don’t write that you enjoy hanging out with friends, relaxing, traveling, or listening to music because everyone likes those things. Instead, talk about your favorite meal to cook, your dream vacation, or that indie artist you’re obsessed with. This helps people see if they have anything in common with you.
Include an invitation.
Make it easy for someone to ask you out by putting a phrase on your profile like “let’s go on a walk” or “looking for someone to take me out for ice cream.” That way, anyone who’s interested in you will know you’re open to meeting in person, and it’ll be easy for them to suggest a date.
Get your friends’ and families’ opinions.
Here’s a test: Show your profile to your friends and family, and ask them whether they’d know the profile was yours if you hadn’t told them. Your profile should be unique enough that it is indubitably you. If your loved ones don’t feel this way, get to work on sounding less generic, and remember: Anyone who wants to date you will want to date the true you, not an image of yourself that’s meant to resemble everybody else.
Suzannah Weiss is a board-certified sexologist and sex educator, offering private coaching and courses in the areas of sex and relationships. In addition, she provides mentorship for writers and consulting for PR professionals.
